In Which Sexy Times Are Always Ruined For Karkat
by Mutant of Time
Summary: Karkat and Dave act upon some flushed (?) feelings, but they are promptly interrupted. DaveXKarkat Kismesis/Matesprit Quadrant Flipping Rated M for mild smut. ONESHOT. xD


**Hey there! I know this is the worst time to be working on other fics, but I had this done like, 2 months ago. I just needed to type it up. ANYWAYS, I'm sorry for the haitus on "Of Assumptions and Rage". I've been having writer's block on that one and I'm trying my best to finish chapter 11. Anyways my OTP is showing, so have this nice DaveKat oneshot. I'm rating this M because I want to be safe, but it is only mild sexy times. You've been warned anyways.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Homestuck or the characters, they belong to Andrew Hussie.**

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Dave was up to his usual shenanigans, which was making me rage, of course. For some stupid fucked up reason, he couldn't find anything better to do on this god forsaken meteor than to continually piss me off. He stood in front of me now, towering over my short height. It didn't help that I was sitting down, but even when I was standing up, the top of my head only came to his shoulder.

"Sup shorty," Dave greeted me casually. I held my romance novel closer to my face, trying to ignore him. He smirked and plucked the book out of my hands, making me rage.

"Why the fuck do you feel the need to bother me all the time?" I screeched at him, standing up, my face red with anger.

"It's fun to see you angry, Kitkat," he told me, using that stupid nickname that I had told him countless times _not_ to use.

"I don't fucking care!" I yelled, making to abscond, But before I could, Dave grabbed my arms, holding it in an iron grip. "Let go!" I growled, trying to struggle out of his hand.

"Sorry, Karkles, but I have other plans," Dave told me. I stood on my toes, trying to even out our height a little more. I jabbed my claw on my forefinger into his chest as I growled lowly, making Alternian threat sounds. I then grabbed his shoulder and pulling his face down to my level, speaking lowly into it, even spitting slightly.

"I said...leave...me...the _fuck_...ALONE!" I said, screaming the last word. Dave cocked his eyebrow at me, unfazed, and licked his lips.

"Try and make me," he said, dragging each word out dramatically. My claw dug deeper into his skin, drawing blood at this point. I saw slight pain flicker on Dave's face, and a wicked grin crossed my own when I saw it. I wanted to see it again, wanted to drag my claw down a few inches, but something inside me wouldn't let that happen. So instead, I withdrew my claw, wiping the blood off on the white part of his shirt. Then I turned on my heel and stalked off to my respiteblock.

I was alone only for a little under an hour before my door burst open.

_"Shit, why didn't I lock it?"_ I scolded myself. I turned around to see none other than the fucking douche, Dave.

"Why the fuck are you here?" I snapped. "Ever heard of knocking?"

Dave held his hands up in the human form of surrender. He stepped forward cautiously and spoke.

"I've come to apologize," he said.

Well _that_ caught me off guard.

"Wha-...what?" I asked, needing clarification.

"Did I not speak clearly enough? I'm. Sorry," he repeated.

I gave him a wary glance.

"What do you want, Strider?" I asked him, knowing that there had to be a catch to his apology.

Dave gave a sigh. "Do I always have to want something from you?"

There was a silence that gave an obvious answer to the question.

"Okay, fine. I am here for something," he told me.

"Well, what is it?" I demanded, putting my hands on my hips. "What do you want from me?"

"Do you actually want an answer to that?" he asked me seriously.

I rolled my eyes. "Why else would I be asking, asshole?"

"Okay. I'll show you then," he said, stepping closer to me.

"Show me?" I began to ask, but I was interrupted by Dave when he pressed his lips against my own. My first thought was to struggle against him, but a stirring in my chest told me to do otherwise. I found myself kissing him back, and the only thought I could form was 'matesprit'.

Now I realized that I wanted Dave to be my matesprit so badly, I had for a long time, and I was so hostile towards him because it was my way of showing that I flushed for him, but it disguised those feelings as well. But now, all thoughts of hostility melted away as Dave and I kissed.

Dave was the first to pull away, gasping for breath. My burning lungs reminded me to breathe as well, and I did so, sounding like a retarded lusus in the process. Dave chuckled at me as he wrapped an arm around my waist, the smirk on his face growing larger. He pressed his lips to mine again for a second before pulling away and pressing my face gently into his chest. I focused on the heart beat I heard as we stood there. It felt relaxing, and I was enjoying the moment until I felt Dave's other hand snake up to one of my horns.

I let out a gasp when Dave's hand closed around the horn, twisting in ways that wracked my body with pleasure.

"S-shit...Dave," I gasped, my eyes sliding closed. Though I couldn't see it, I could sense Dave's smirk above me. He was reducing me to a pile of pleasured mush, and it was quite pitiful to say the least.

I soon found myself pressed against the wall, Dave's hand having left my horn in favor of holding my hands above my head, against the wall. I whined and mewed as Dave pressed his lips against mine.

Dave now held both my hands in one of his, his other hand barely brushing against my horn again.

"Stop fucking t-teasing!" I managed to spit out. My eyes popped open and glared at Dave. I tore my hands away from him and snatched the stupid shades off of his face. Dave didn't react, he only reached forward to trap my hands again as his crimson red eyes bore down on me.

He then leaned forward and slid his tongue across my horn, making me writhe in pleasure. I wanted to buck my hips forward, but I needed to keep _some_ self control. So instead, I mustered up all my strength, shoving Dave off me and to the ground. I was on him in a flash, straddling him.

"I said to stop fucking teasing, nookwhiffer!" I growled at him, now not being able to decide between matesprit or kismesis. I forgot just how much Dave pissed me off.

He was about to come up with a cocky reply, but it was lost in a groan when I began grinding my hips down onto his. I felt him shudder beneath me, and I knew I must have been doing something right because he was grinding back at me, creating friction that we both so desperately wanted.

I thrust my head down, mashing our lips together with such force that I'm sure Dave's would bruise. My hands slithered down and pulled Dave's shirt off, tossing it in the general direction of his shades. A grin flashed across my face as I spotted his weird chest nubs. I gently trapped them in between my fingers, and one glance at Dave's face told me that he had long lost his cool, but he bit his lip so hard that it bled, trying to keep quiet the noises that were fighting their way out of him.

"No! Don't go in-" I heard a voice call out. The door burst open, in the doorway Terezi and Rose. "There...," Rose finished her sentence.

I was frozen with surprise as Terezi stood there gaping at Dave and I, having smelled what we were doing. Rose was simply facepalming. I fell backwards as Dave shoved me off of him, stalking over to his shirt and shades. He pulled the both of them on, shoving past Terezi and Rose as he exited.

I could only stare as he left, Terezi making an awkward leave. Rose loudly whispered to me,

"Next time, Karkat, please do make sure to lock your door." She then left as well.

_"Yeah, as if there's going to be a next time now. Thanks a lot for ruining everything, fuckasses,"_ I thought to myself angrily as I got up, slamming my door shut and locking it, then proceeding to sulk on my couch with romcoms for what would seem like all of eternity.


End file.
